For Reid fans and those on the left who will think it funny, you’re welcome.  (Oh wait:  nobody from the left reads my blog because I am a right wing nut job.  Silly me!)

For those on the right who will be mad when they read it, it’s ok. We must never – any of us – take ourselves too seriously.

Both sides should take a deep breath.  We’ve got 13 months to go until the 2010 elections.  Before it’s all over, Nevada politics being what it is, we’re all going to need a few laughs.

*For those who didn’t catch the film reference in the header of this post, it’s a twist on a great Kilgore (Robert Duvall) line from Apocalypse Now (<— 59 second clip):  “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”

Please enjoy the following bit, a favorite of mine.  If you are any kind of political junkie – Left, Middle, or Right – I dare you not to laugh.

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk
Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Real World Communism: You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free” market.
Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Militarism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheep’s brains and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Pure Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours try to take the cows and kill you.
Pure Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
American-style Capitalism: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.
Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

!!

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government gives you harmonica lessons.

!!

Have I gone mad?

Perhaps.  Politics and all its egos are enough to drive anyone to Madville, fast.

(We’re all mad here…)

Politico or no, you may want to join the Surrealist Party (click that “here…” link back there) if you have a penchant for, or appreciation of, absurdity, absurdness, nonsensicalness, nonsensicality, ridiculousness, ridiculosity, ludicriousness, meaninglessness, contradiction, incongruity, incongruousness, illogic, illogicality, illogicalness, craziness, twaddle, flummery, malarkey, jabber, Jabberwocky, shenanigans, jocularity, waggery, drollery, levity, frivolity, silliness, inanity, and the Like.

For the wonks, Wonkas, classicists and literalists amongst us, do consider reading:

The First Surrealist Manifesto (Breton, 1924).

(Yes, it’s really The Surrealist Party’s platform. Yes, there really is such a thing.  No, we haven’t read it.  The Dem and GOP Committeepersons and Candidates don’t read theirs, either, so why pick on us?)

In closing:

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. – Willy Wonka

(Did you know that nearly all the best quotes in the film Willy Wonka are lifted from works of literature? You can review many of them here.)

If you have questions about this post, any of its references, or the Surrealist Party in general, please drop a Comment.

Why else would the White House post the following blurb at whitehouse.gov:

There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care.  These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation.  Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.

Let’s re-cap.

Emails.  And casual conversations.  And stuff on the web.  That are “fishy.”  Should be flagged.  And emailed to the White House.  So they can keep track of them.  And combat “disinformation.”

Oooo-KAY.

Since when, and based on what precedent, does a sitting President ask American citizens to report on their fellow citizens in regards to political speech? Has the White House staff lost their senses?  Is the Teleprompter drunk?

The audacity of the request is eclipsed only by its foolishness. Trying to control information – or disinformation – on the web is like trying to herd a million cats. You can’t do it.

And if you’re the White House, you shouldn’t be trying.

I guess this “flag the fishy” idea was dreamt up by the same geniuses who thought it was wise to call concerned Townhall attendees an “angry mob” spouting “manufactured information” when they dared to show up and ask tough questions about health care reform.

People like the woman who asked her congressman, “How can you manage health care when you can’t manage Cash for Clunkers?”

Or the elderly woman who asked her congressman if HE was going to be on the new health care plan.

Yeah, these people are just totally unhinged.

Our elected officials must find it SO annoying to have to deal with these pesky citizens and their annoying questions.

(Iowahawk embellishes with his usual brilliance.)

Why doesn’t Iowahawk have some sort of fat media gig by now?  How long must he go on being the sharpest, funniest, killingest political satirist on the Internet before they give him a multi-gazillion dollar site sponsorship, a sick crib, and a lifetime supply of beer?

My very favorite scene from Grail is this one (dialogue with Graham Chapman as KING ARTHUR, Michael Palin as DENNIS THE PEASANT, and Terry Jones as the WOMAN).

Available on YouTube here.

The linked-to piece – from ExurbanLeague - is here.  An excerpt (satire alert):

Obviously, this incident has raised many concerns among Americans. There have been calls for justice and even violence against the misguided perpetrators. But such an emotional reaction has led to the disparagement of entire groups with which we are unfamiliar. We have seen this throughout history.

For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates.

The past eight years have shown a failure to appreciate the historic role of these noble seafarers. Instead of celebrating their entreprenuerial spirit and seeking to partner with them to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.

Some of us wonder if our current Overseas Contingency Operation would even be needed had the last administration not been so quick to label Pirates as “thieves,” “terrorists” and worse. Such swashbucklaphobia can lead to tragic results, as we have seen this week.

Legislative Onomastics   [John Derbyshire]

So I’ve been visiting friends in Louisiana for the last few days; partly to catch up because I haven’t seen them in forever, and partly because I love Mardi Gras – and thanks to a special surprise, I was actually able to go this year and enjoy it.

I love everything about the South: the food, the pace of life, the fact that my skin doesn’t get dry and that people walk around with funny hats on for no reason and don’t get self-conscious. But most of all, I love it because of interactions like this:

We were sitting around the kitchen table after Bacchus, when a two year old child came running in brandishing a toy shotgun (with real cocking and smoking action!), aiming and firing at nothing, shortly followed by his mother.

Mother: “Give me that gun!”

Child: “No!”

Mother: “Give ME THAT GUN!”

Child: “No!”

Mother takes the gun.

Child cries.

Father (from Kitchen Table): “Give him back that gun, Nancy Pelosi!”

Another child (also from Kitchen Table) bursts into tears: “Don’t call mama that, Daddy!!!”

For now, this, from Michelle Malkin.